ChattaBaby

B to the LOG

My job is one that may provide some leisure time one day and then the next day you don't have time to piss. It is for this reason that my posts have been so sporadic. My apologies.

Also, I have found myself inspired by some leftist propaganda and wanting to preach and rant, I then compose myself and carefully recall the attributes of a successful family blog. It probably is best served with a small to moderate amount of mealy politics. I am chronically struggling with the scope of Chattababy. Is it O.K. to swear? To talk about sports? To touch the keyboard with fudgy fingers? (eww. I just grossed myself out) I have decided that I am far too multi-faceted to be contained by one blog (joke)...especially one in which I am not even the star (not a joke).

And so, I introduce to you, unklebaby. Right now it is a collection of Times quotes etc. but you can be sure that, in time it will be bursting at the seams with inappropriate content. I don't expect a big response considering every time I post something non-baby I get null comment.

I will continue to "baby-it-up" over here as well as share charming family anecdotes. Weem.

So, I have been working a bit of overtime lately, which is good for us moneywise. When I work this much I tend to get zombie-like. My charisma reservoir needed a little replenishment which is sometimes as easy as a good 6 hours of sleep. Sometimes the fix requires a little adult conversation. Sleep is more available to me and so it is often times what has to do. When Megan has the evening off I get antsy if I have to work late. I feel those precious few husband/wife moments slipping away. I don't mind husband/giant photocopier moments but not at the expense of the other.

So, last night I am making more photocopies and just watching the clock flatulate in my face and I'm thinking, "I wonder what is waiting for me at home?" Hours of speculation yielded dozens of scenarios but the one I liked best was the one that came to pass. At 9:45 pm Megan (w/ beer) was sitting on the couch, toggling between Sex & the City and The Real World. I sat down to eat my dinner and we began to talk about politics.

The topic of Hillary Rodham came up. I am not at liberty to share with you Megan's expressed opinions but I am a little frightened of the prospect of her winning the primaries. As Megan pointed out, she has picked her battles very carefully and has avoided contributing to the "left wing" anti-war banter. This is exactly what scares me. I want a Democrat to win, but at what cost. The Clintons have always been too moderate for me.

This Clinton/Liberman video-game witch hunt is pissing me off. We are freaking out because kids can download a software patch for the PC or X Box that will allow them to unlock a scenario in a video game that shows to clothed people grinding against one another. Has Liberman been on the internet lately? I can't even open up my emails anymore without seeing Barnyard Bumpin and Dildo Cams.

What is the real issue here? Our kids need to be protected from sexually explicit content in video games? What about the violence, Hillary? Gratuitous violence is the premise upon which Grand Theft Auto has made its billions. If you are going to violate someone's 1st amendment rights, shouldn't it be to curb the violent streak that is perceived to dwell in our gaming youth.

I heard Newt Gingrich pay Hillary a compliment on the Hannady show a couple of weeks back and that about spells it all out for me. I say Hillary, go ahead and have mainstream games pulled from every mall shelf and, oh yeah, and keep supporting our war efforts in Iraq. These conservative deeds may get you to heaven, but they aren't going to get you to the White House...because you can't out-right the right.

Although I do a pretty mean Pat Robertson

That new masthead (or whatever you call it) is way too cute!

I mean, I can't get over it. I keep the page windowshaded on my computer while I work so I can sneak peeks at it when I need to.

It also eggs me on to take more pictures of the little darling, which I haven't been because I have felt so overwhelmed lately. Squeak and I hardly made it out of the house last week because of all the cleaning, and we live in the World's Smallest House!

But maybe not for long. Barry, Gpa and crew began basement demolition on Saturday to make way for our addition. They filled up a whole dumpster-thingy with boards, drywall, ovens, etc. I am so excited! The addition means a real bedroom for Sarah, and a master bedroom for us.

In the meantime, hopefully there will be some photo opportunities while my mom, dad, aunt, uncle and cousins are in town this week. Pontoon boat, here we come!

Hmmmm.

She Modines beautifully, don't you think?

This time it's personal

Although Sarah's first word ever was juice, she has understood the meaning of "No" for a long time now. When she first became mobile she would cruise over to the electrical outlets, and all adults would yell NO as she poked at the safety covers. Over and over again: Point to outlet, look at mommy, smile when mommy says NO.

She added a cute move a few months ago where she would unroll the toilet paper in the bathroom while singing "No, no, no" (although it still comes out sounding like "Dough, dough, dough).

But now? It's gotten personal. Barry called me last night while I was at work and, like usual, put Sarah on the phone. I could hear Barry say "Say hi to mommy," and all she would say was NO right in to the phone! Loud and clear.

And today I tried "Give mommy kiss," and the girl said NO and walked away! Twice.

Oh, those twos are fast approaching.p

This headline is not big enough to express my love for the happy couple

Well, my big sister got married Saturday, and it was an evening filled with drama and excitement — perfect for the lovely brides. Jen has always had a flair for the dramatic, and that night included a couple doozies.

The ceremony itself — on the upper deck of this cool boat with masts — was delayed due to rain because the boat staff kept thinking it would stop. Well, it didn't, so the wedding party just walked out in the wind and drizzle and stood on a deck looking down at all the guests. It was awesome. It would not have been half as cool with the sun shining, and I bet the pictures will be great!

Well, after the ceremony Barry and the babysitter walked Sarah and Brenna back to the hotel only to find Sarah's backpack locked in my parents' room. The latch had caught from the inside, so the babysitter's boyfriend had to call the front desk to get the door open. It turns out doors just don't lock themselves — their was some dude in my parents' room — going through their stuff, trashing everything and eat ing my mom's pills. My dad had to miss most of the reception, but he said going to the police station in the squad car was fun because the officer ran all the red lights.

My favorite moment of the weekend was during the ceremony. We stood so close to Jen and Kim as they said their vows that we got to see so clearly the love and emotion between them — how they held on to eachother and made eachother laugh. I have known Jen for 28 years now, and it is so wonderful to see her marry someone so perfect for her. The minister-lady even told the story of how Jen and Kim met at "speed dating." They didn't have a "speed date;" instead they sat next to eachother as the other daters sped through. They had such a wonderful time talking in between dates that they decided to get together later. Isn't that way too cute?!

Congratulations!

You say Mo-shoe'-loo, I say Mo'-shoe-loo

Chattafamily has returned from our brief trip to the Ill-a-delph. If you didn't know, Jen and Kim finally tied the knot. I might extend the metaphor and say it was a fancy knot...perhaps a sailor's knot like a monkey's fist or a sheapshank. They were married on a 100 year old square rigger called the Moshulu that is permanently docked in Penn's Landing. The affair was extravagant by Chattanooga standards. The attendees were strikingly beautiful and the wine flowed like honey (the latter encouraging my opinion on the former, no doubt). I am sure there will be more posted about our trip in the next couple of days. Just wanted to say, Congratulations Jen & Kim. We love you.

The Euro is coming.

Yahoo posted this article on Monday. Quite frankly, I'm relieved. A dash on a phone number is like a lawn jockey or a minivan...very American and very ridiculous. I do love our country but any aesthetic reform that takes place on a formal level smacks of progression and this pleases me. So how might our national landscape be most effected?

It's gorgeous.

But, Megan...

What about those weekends in Paris...the shopping...the capris & flip flops? You've changed.

Intervention

Barry has been hard at work in the demolition of our basement. Our unfinished basement, without air conditioning, and it is very hot in Tennessee. So, with necessity being the mother of invention and all, Barry styled his pants into man-pris (capris for guys, you know) because he wanted to cool off and protect his knees at the same time.

Well, being an avid reader of the most addictive site on the Web, go fug yourself, I can't sit by any longer without saying something to Barry about the path he is headed down. This picture of Kevin "K-Fed" "Mr. Britney Spears" Federline says it all.

Honey, please stop before you get to the flip flops.ˇ