ChattaBaby

2005 - We rocked thee.

If there is an analogy that is applicable it is this: Chattafamily kicked 2005 in the crotch, then helped it back up, dusted of its back and bought it a drink. It was a watershed that really ought not be severed by a mere calendar change. I could go in to the specifics but for the couple of you that keep up with this site, you know the details.

This time every year I like to peep all the 'best of/worst of' year end finales so I may get a secular perspective on things that really matter, like Nicole Ritchie leaving 'Simple Life'. I have made a list of some of this years stand-out events and offered my 2¢ where appropriate 2¢ might be underbidding it a tad. Perhaps 2 Dominican Pesos might more aptly quantify my opinions. (2¢=$.02 where as 2 DP=$.059)

Tom Cruise loses his sh%*. This is a biggie. I feel like the media is beating this guy up over a whole lot of nothing. There are two things we have always known about Tom. A) He is a Scientologist (Crazy) and B) He is a cheeseball. Is any of his 2005 behavior a result of anything else? Dude was a nutball during 'Cocktail'. Doesn't mean it's right but it also doesn't mean it is newsworthy either. Besides, Oprah could make Henry Rollins look like a colicky infant.

White Sox win the World Series. I got seriously jipped on this deal. I watch baseball for major-market matchups. Red Sox/Yankees ALCS matchup or I boycott 2006.

Jason Lee names his baby 'Pilot Inspektor Lee'. OK, this happened in 2003 but I found out about it this year so it makes the list. Is there a more bad ass name in all the universe? If there is another war between the states in our nations future I should hope the southeastern US will be under the capable command of General Pilot Inspektor Lee.

Das ist Rad

Disasters (Bush included). I promised my Mom I would keep politics off of this site and so I will conclude with this: It was a devastaing year for our country in alot of ways. I have never been a 'glass is half full' kind of guy but some light does appear to peeking through the clouds. My hope is for prosperity on every level for those who endured the natural disasters that struck the southeast and my prayer is for the safety of ALL the familys effected by the turbulence in Iraq.

2006, you have all the makings of a peaceable bedfellow. See you soon.

It's a sh%* world after all

Just got back form Orlando where Uncle Eisner showed us how Christmas is done Disney style. This was my first trip down and I was obviously ill-prepared. Millions (seemed like it anyway) of people packed into all the theme parks to ride rides, eat funnel cakes and meet the Power Rangers on Christmas...which is wierd to me. Some stand-outs:

Strollers are a BIG deal. Faring crowds is warfare and pushing a stroller leaves you at a considerable disadvantage as far as mobility is concerned. This is off-set by the crippling power of "ankling" people or as Megan's family calls it, "ye olde flat tire". There is no indifference on the matter. If you are a bi-ped you HATE wheels and if you are pushing, you are poisoned with walker envy.

Pretzels are never as good as they look or smell. It's just crappy bread with rock salt, don't compromise your self...hold out for a bratwurst.

The world is half-bad. So many nasties in such a condensed area. Congratulations, you have:
A) the financial wherewithal to take a mad-expensive vacation,
B) what appears to be healthy, "happy" family and
C) for G_d sakes you are at the "Happiest Place on Earth"

...smile a little and quit yelling at the pretzel guy because you didn't have enough salt kernels on your crappy bread-snack. It's bad enough that he has to wear lederhosen.

The world is half-good. There were these great moments where
A) buses were held for you and your nine pieces of baby-luggage,
B) bi-peds empathized with your stroller woes and yielded dramatically with a smile.
C) Bell Hops bell-hopped and refused tips.

Most of all, Megan's family serves as hard, fast proof that even amidst a wretched hive of scum and villainy, true grace is irrepressible and in this case, has sexy good looks. Big thanks to the W-----s, McG----s and the T------s for opening up my eyes to "A Whole New World". (barf)

Sidenote: Check out the thrilling saga that is Bad News Hughes Christmas 2005.

Sidenote: To the douche that stole Megan's red bag form baggage claim...you are not in the half-good part of the world...I'm just sayin.

Cyclothymic Sentiments

I chased a link from Poop & Boogies comments box and was delighted by the blog of Katherine from Midwest. I suppose she is a fledgling blogger but a gifted writer. Please check her out and leave lots of comments.

I met with my new psychiatrist yesterday. I have to describe him. He looks like a Steve Martin parody of a psychiatrist, complete with the graying hair. He was wearing chocolate brown suede crepe soled shoes, black pants, white shirt and a maroon cardigan with a little fire breathing dragon (?) where an alligator or polo player would normally be. It seems as though I have seen the fire breathing dragon logo before, but it was still a surprise. Back in the early 80's there was a boom on these logo polo shirts. The "preppy" trend was still in full force in the midwest. For those of us who couldn't convince our parents that an alligator or polo guy was absolutely necessary, there were unicorns, ducks, tigers (or "le tigre" to be exact), J.Crew had an "oarsman", and so on. The cardigan had to be from this era. He also had on a red tie (red with maroon, black with chocolate, Good Lord, man!) with Santa Claus heads all over it, and a tie pin. The tie pin was gold plated with a round garnet-esque stone. Now, mind you, this was not done in an ironic Rivers Cuomo, indie rock nerd chic kind of way. This guy was dead serious about this outfit. The dragon, the Santas, the pin were earnestly put together. The effect produced a similiar response as when I see pictures of Karl Lagerfeld. This guy designs? This guy designs for Chanel? This guy practices psychiatry? He's obviously undiagnosed, himself.

Cyclothymic Sentiments, Published: December 20, 2005

Weekend

Windows and doors make a house really look like a "house". You know what I mean?

My family celebrated Christmas this weekend because we will not be together for the legitimate holiday. 'Chris-lich' (as Megan so wittily coined it) went off without a hitch...unless you consider we have NO PLACE to store the 6000 cubic feet of toys she unwrapped.

Meg's parents watched Sarah on Chris-lich evening while we went out with some friends. Oddly enough, we seemed to be the only ones at the table that hadn't been held at gunpoint. My peeps is hard, dig?

Christmas Past

Laurel remembers so much. I am not much of a rememberer but I like to try.

10 years ago - A drunken blur. I was studying for an art history final on heads-up pills and vodka. I was completely in love with my "cool" new friends who smelled bad but spoke well. I bought groceries (beer) with money form a job making pizza and I stored them in a refrigerator at Lockmiller Apts., a dorm which I shared with a deaf sports-equipment manager for the UTC Mocs, a Desert Storm Vet studying biology and my best friend from high school.

5 years ago - Megan and I were living in sin in a little bungalow on Barton Ave. It was the first year I can remember that we didn't have to worry about our finances. (i suppose we decided the financially secure life was not our bag because we eventually quit our cushy jobs w/ benefits and both took jobs for damned near minimum wage. Don't ask me why cause I just don't know) As Christmas approached I had a little secret that was eating me alive and a little diamond ring that I clutched in my pocketed fist wondering how best to break the silence.

1 year ago - First holiday season as a daddy. Despite grueling work hours and daunting side projects we were able to document our first Christmas as a triad with home video footage that will always make me cry. (she was so little)

Yesterday - Loathed the incompetence of my fantasy football team but was comforted by real progress on our addition and the ability of the two ladies of the house to successfully nap through the sound of pounding hammers.

Rock City Garden of Lights

or something. I really don't remember what it was called but we braved the frozen tundra to witness a boatload of holiday lights. As predicted, Sarah went crazy with joy and a great time was had by all. Enjoy the pics.

You Know Dancer...

Christmas on Hoth

Crazy Eye - The Camel Rider

Touching Lord