ChattaBaby

New fun at the doctor's "Office" ————— (or I love my iPod part II)

I got to go to the doctor for a physical today! I got there extra early, too. Not because I wanted to score brownie points from my favorite nurses, but because I brought the iPod and had an episode of "The Office" just waiting for such a moment. I was surrounded by the 70-plus crowd, all reading out-of-date magazines, as I tried to contain my laughter. It was the "Take Your Daughter to Work" episode. And you know what? I didn't even get to finish it. The nurse called me back fifteen minutes before my scheduled appointment time. Which I guess is much cooler than the half-hour past my time I usually wait. But now to finish my show maybe I need to go see the dermatologist? Barry's podiatrist?

that feels good.

Poop and Boogies" had a "sippy cup" post a couple days ago that I thought was very funny. It reminded me of something that occurred the other day that I forgot all about until I read it. I suppose we also have quite a variety of sippy cups and the most recently acquired version is more like a baby bottle, really, with a soft latex piece that inserts into a plastic lid, the combination of which screws onto the plastic bottle. After Sarah's bath I had poured her some milk into one of these cups/bottles and presented it to her with her bunny and a blanket. She usually uses this time to watch Melanie's "Good Night Show" on Sprout" and key things down a little bit. I usually use this time to run the vacuum or other loud cleaning things I can't do after she goes to bed.

So I'm vacuuming. I hear her chanting, "Ooh. That feels good. Ooh." I look over at her and notice she is lightly marching-in-place on her little sofa thingy. I smile at the pure visceral joy that only a child can experience. With a big stupid grin I nod and ask, "Does that feel good? Is it soft on your feet?" and I continue vacuuming. She continues her Oohs and Ahhs. I put the vacuum cleaner away and out of the corner of my eye I see a river of white flowing from her sofa. Whaahhh? She was marching in a giant puddle of milk, still aestheticizing, "Ooh. That feels good." I leapt over to where she was standing and found what remained of the cup/bottle of milk I had given her...empty with an ill fitting top. I now know the dots are supposed to line up with the grooves and the rubber lip must, in essence, create a sandwich like seal around the flange of the lid. Making a baby wasn't this hard...at least not for me.

My checklist

Mary's comment and Stacey's post touched upon something I have been obsessing over: What do I want to accomplish before my 3-0 birthday? I lay awake at night thinking about skydiving, trips to Fiji, going back to school. This is serious. I can't let such a milestone just slip past. I think my sister did a list, but I don't know what was on hers. Maybe I should just do a checklist like "Earl," but without just the righting of past wrongs.
1. Get on the local news
2. Reunite with lost friends
3. First, spend more time with current friends
4. Have a bad music party
5. Eat French food
6. Volunteer for a good cause
7. Get CPR certified
8. Visit with my grandparents
9.
10.

Do I need 30 things? Maybe I do.

I'll drink to that

All right, I guess that last post is Barry's way of getting me out of TypePad retirement to SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. There are no babies. And I tell anyone who asks that I don't even have to respond to THE QUESTION until next year. Sarah's enough to handle. Her new favorite word is MINE! Today all three of us got the rare treat of hanging out together all morning. I cooked lunch while listening to Barry and Sarah play Little People and him trying to explain sharing.
Last night Barry took Sarah and I on movie attempt #2: "Cars." Luckily, no bears in this one, and if we can keep the girl away from pictures of grain harvesters I think we're in the nightmare clear.

and so I ask you this...

who wouldn't want another one of these things crawling around?

Hello. I'm an ass...

and I'm a PC.

I always knew a Mac personified would be a self-righteous indie hipster.

I know this guy. He used to work at the record store. He made fun of me when I bought that Seal cassette single. Now I have to see his smug ass on the television...during Sex in the City no less.

Observe the pie chart. The light grey area represents the joy that I experience with the Apple products I own. The dark grey area represents my desire to don a blazer and buy a dell - fed exclusively by condescending mac owners and the ads they pray to.

it's like beer for the morning.

Why is coffee so D-Lish? Lately, I've been thinking about the things that bring me joy and I would have to rank coffee higher than macaroni salad and darn close to naked ladies and beer. I heard once that there is a coffee that is brewed from a bean that has been consumed and shat out by some weasel or squirrel. It is supposed to be absurdly delicious and cost a day's wage. I intend to find a cup of it and buy it and drink it...soon. Like, next week. Will someone join me? Jarrod?

Over the Edge

If you decide to take your 2 year old to a movie and you just HAVE to see Dreamworks' Over the Hedge, show up about 20 minutes late and leave about 20 minutes early to avoid 1 scary-ass bear.

I should begin by saying Disney has really put alot of energy into stripping the animated bear of its natural ferocity, with their friendly, radio voices, fatherly wisdom and in some instances, a bluish hue. Generations of 2 year olds have grown accustomed to this archetype only to have Dreamworks flip the script, eliciting a collective poop squirt in diapers and training pants around the nation as they unsheathed the DEMONBEARSMALLANIMALDESTROYER. We should have just waited to see the Omen.

Everything was cool until Sarah noticed a picture of a bear on her wall during a nap yesterday and now she is scared to death of getting mauled. Yes, I am a bad parent for not pre-screening but C'MON! The MPAA rating posted in the paper and the movie poster was G which apparently had been changed to PG... for some "rude humor and mild comic action"? MILD COMIC ACTION? I would like to engage Steven Spielberg in a little mild comic action.

Estate of Confusion

I don't know much about poetry, jewishy, or irishy but I know a good rant and SOWEET JEEZUS Laurel Snyder can rant.

I think her predicament is terrible. Our situations started off as very different one but might be more similar than I had originally thought..

We bought into an up and coming neigborhood after it had already upped and comed...to a large extent. It looked as if the neighborhood was primed for lots of young families to buy and live in perfect harmony with all the new parks and sidewalks and renovated 100 yr old houses. We bought a pre-renovated number with a weird floor plan but a bit of potential (i.e. the shittiest house on the block).

We have slowly started to bring things up to where they need to be just to find every other house on our block up for sale. We had hoped people would buy to live but either people are cashing in to move "up the mountain" or they are owned by investors who will continue to leave them vacant because nobody in their right mind would meet the asking prices... a half of a million dollars should afford you a helluva lot more than a 1600 sq ft bungalow with 1 and 1/2 baths from 1919.

When Sarah and I go for our walks I am encouraged by all the summertime activity. My hope is when she starts going to the school that sits a block away, she will be met my her friends at the front walkway, like Eddie met up with Wally.

Boy, that post fell apart in eine hurry. Weems